Your brain wants life to be predictable.
Your emotions want life to be stable.
But stability and predictability are the absence of movement and the survival mode.
You will be able to gain freedom in life only when you give up stability and predictability.
You cannot be free until you step into the unknown.
If you are not ready to step into the unknown, then you are a hostage to what you know. You are a slave to your current circumstances.
You are a slave to your own emotions.
You are a slave to your own story.
You are a slave to an established opinion about who you think you are.
Fear of loss distorts your reality 5-7 times.
In his book, Think slowly ... decide quickly, Danny Kahneman uses Perspective Theory to explain that we humans fear losing anything more than we value gain.
According to Kahneman, our view of reality is exaggerated, at least twice, when we are afraid of losing something.
But this is only what he reported in his research reports, since he knew that his work was closely monitored. During private conversations, he argued that in fact people inflate or exaggerate reality by 5-7 times when they want to avoid losses.
I know a girl who loves her job very much. Well, maybe not the work itself, but the fact that it allows her to learn, gain experience and act.
In this work, there is a lot that restrains her, limits and upsets her.
In general, this work, although amazing, does not suit her. But she does not want to lose all the advantages that this work gives her.
Fear of loss keeps her in certainty.
She does not want to risk for the sake of the unknown, although deep down she feels that it is right.
And this is the only place where it can be free.
Without uncertainty, you cannot be truly free.
If you continue to live in a world of stability and predictability, you will not develop.
You will be stuck in your own stories and emotions of the past.
You do not want to face uncertainty in the future. Therefore, you cannot be free.
Uncertainty is the basis of all fear
The brain tends to predict the consequences of your behavior.
Your body tends to experience emotions that make you feel safe.
As a result, you avoid what you fear.
You avoid things you cannot predict.
Interestingly, people do not want to give up addictions just because they make life predictable. They realize that their lives are crumbling, but the fear of the unknown prevents them from changing anything.
All fear is in the future.
Things that you fear are not really in the “here and now” moment. Rather, they are a projection or prediction that can be extremely inaccurate.
Sense of security and comfort
In a recent interview, professional basketball player Kobe Bryant told a story about his first basketball game season. He was then 11 years old. He scored zero points. It was terrible.
He remembers how his father said to him: "I don't care how many points you scored: 0 or 60. I will love you, no matter what."
This is exactly what Koby wanted to hear. He knew that no matter what, he was safe.Father will never stop loving him.
This defense gave Kobe permission to fail. She gave him permission to risk. Fatherly love allowed Kobe to go beyond her comfort zone and become highly productive.
If you do not feel secure in your relationship, it may be difficult to push your own boundaries. It's hard for you to be free because you have become a slave to a relationship. You live in an unhealthy dependent state, when everything you do is based on trying to please others.
When you feel loved and protected, regardless of the results, you can gain freedom and try something that can lead to failure.
The following season, Kobe often failed, but he began to study hard and left his comfort zone.
All he had to do was to abandon who he was in the past and get into a new role, invented by the imagination and strengthened by the love of his father.
He accepted the unknown again and again, because he was ready to become free - free to see what was possible, fail, explore, create. Free to become a legend.
Thus, the story of Kobe emphasizes that we really need some kind of stability in life (in his case, this is the love of the father) in order to accept the instability and unpredictability of growth.
We will feel insecure when we accept new challenges. But we will have the protection and trust we can hold onto, and this will give us the strength to resist uncertainty.
You cannot be free without uncertainty.
You cannot be free while in your comfort zone.
You cannot be free by living in the past.
The price of freedom is uncertainty.
If you can cope with the emotional anxiety associated with not knowing what will happen next, then you are absolutely free.
Most people rarely create anything. Educator and reformer Ken Robinson said: "If you are not willing to make mistakes, you will never think of anything original."
If you want to go beyond your current identity and past and go where practically everything is possible, you need to accept uncertainty.
You need to stop focusing on how things turn out.
You should not be discouraged when the world around you is falling apart.
You need to stand up immediately, as soon as you fail - or succeed - and move on to the next goal.
Are you free, or are you a slave of certainty?
Are you a slave needing to know how everything will turn out?
If you are not free, then you do not live.
If you are not free, then you are not developing.
If you are not free, then you are not learning. Most likely, you are stuck in the past, which is safe. You are stuck in your feelings and nostalgia. You give up the world of endless possibilities, joy and creativity.
The only thing you lose when you go beyond your own history is emotional attachment to the past. If you let go of this attachment, you will get everything.
Are you ready to be free?
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