How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

Do I need to help the child with homework? First-graders probably need help, and then what? Still, doing homework is the responsibility of the student, not the parents. And here a new task appears: how to teach a child to do homework independently.

In the course of persuasion, compromise and, what can conceal, screams and scandals. But, as it turned out, to get a child to do homework without all these side effects, you just need to leave him alone. How to do it, said Ekaterina Murashova.

Read also:Homework: how to motivate a child to do homework

The child does not want to do homework. First story

- I have a wonderful girl. Kind, sympathetic, affectionate, smart. If you ask her, always help me with the housework. For all the holidays he draws me drawings - “to his beloved mummy”. She is in the third grade. And learning is not bad! But look, I'm just crying, because I already have no strength. Why? Now I will say.Everything is fine with her until it comes to preparing lessons.

She understands that the lessons still need to be done. Almost every evening we agree with her about how everything will be tomorrow: she will sit down, quickly make them (it is not at all difficult for her), and we will not swear with her. But the next day it comes to business and she has a hundred excuses: now I finish the game, now drink some water, I'll take the cat to my grandmother, my grandmother asked her to get a blanket from the closet (it was last night, but she remembered just now), but tell me I, mom, I have long wanted to ask you ... And all this can drag on for hours! At first I try to restrain myself, I answer calmly: come on then, sit down for the lessons, it is already evening, you will not think anything later, but in the end I can’t stand it and just yell like a sergeant at the soldier: “Alena, sit down immediately, otherwise I I don’t know what I'll do with you! ”Then she is offended and begins to cry:“ Mom, what do you always shout at me ?! What did I do wrong to you? ”And I really feel like a monster, because I have a good girl for me! But it’s impossible not to do the lessons! And if you let everything go to chance, it will get sick until ten o'clock, when you need to sleep, and not to solve mathematics ... What should we do? I do not want to spoil my relationship with my daughter!

Read also:School science: how humanities love mathematics

The child does not want to do homework. Second story

- The most offensive is this: if he does sit and concentrate, all these lessons will be ugh! For half an hour, an hour will do everything at its best. When I myself was small, it was called willpower. We trained it ourselves, we understood that this is an important thing for life. So she doesn’t have it, I have to say it responsibly. We were before you at the psychologist, still in the fourth grade. She said: he has a disease, attention deficit disorder. What a shortage, if he could always lego (small such parts, you know?) To collect for five hours in a row, and now, if it hits, the computer passes such difficult levels that I myself would not have had the patience! So it's not a case of illness, there is simply no responsibility for your future destiny. And where to take, if everyone around them just makes them entertain? I said to him: you must understand, you just have to pull yourself together, sit down and do these damn lessons. And then all - till the evening walk, free! He seems to understand, but how it comes down to it ... Mother and mother-in-law are generally rude. When they complain to me, and I respond to him, I never touch them first, let them not climb, these are my lessons, after all ... I tried to clean the computer altogether.It is better with lessons - if there is absolutely nothing to do, they will fit. But the mood is always rotten, the situation in the family is explosive, and in general - the computer is not a carrier of evil of some kind, it is an important modern tool for everything, including for socialization and information, today for some doubtful reasons. it’s good to raise a child in a cave and feed it with roots ... But what to do, it's only seventh grade, and we actually planned eleven, he has perfectly normal brains, all the teachers say in one voice, and I myself see but with such diligence ...

Read also:5 secrets for a child to do his homework with pleasure

The child does not want to do homework. Third story

- Oh, just you do not start, please! I have already heard a thousand, if not a million times! And I understand everything myself: tenth grade, we must already get together and think about our future fate. You have to do a lot in order to pass the USE well ... well, what else do you need there? I know everything! And in general, one hundred percent agree. Here, the mother does not believe me, she thinks, I lie to her so that she will get rid of it, but I will not lie - I myself always think that from tomorrow, from Monday, I will take up the new quarter properly, I will bring up what I missed, and every day I will do all the lessons.I really think so! Exactly until the moment when it is necessary to postpone the phone, turn off the computer, music (in our class there are those who can do music and even TV, but I can't, I need silence) and sit down at last. And here - full out. You will not believe, sometimes I can’t even get a textbook with a notebook to get myself out of my bag ... Sometimes I’ll think: why am I, some kind of psycho? I’ll make all the same, bring the bag, take it out, just get ready to work out ... And I immediately recall a hundred different cases: Vika promised to call, “Vkontakte” urgently needs to see something, the mother asked to wake up the tap in the kitchen on Wednesday ... I understand that pills from this can not be, but maybe there is some hypnosis?

Have you heard such monologues? Or maybe even they themselves pronounced?

And imagine how many thousands (yes there are millions!) Of parents and children all over the world will pronounce them today!

Read also:Making lessons: how to stop being angry with a child?

How to make a child do homework: advice from a psychologist

I want to tell you a terrific news: it seems that I know a technique to solve this problem! I want to say at once: this technique was not invented by me, but by a thirteen-year-old boy named Vasily.So if everything is right and the Nobel Peace Prize in the family is supposed to solve such a common problem, it is not for me, but for him - Vasya.

I honestly, at first did not really believe it. It's all very simple. But I am an experimenter in education and upbringing. My first job after graduation was called “intern-researcher” in the workbook.

Therefore, I conducted an experiment. I caught twenty families who in my office uttered monologues similar to the ones above, told them about Vasina's technique, and persuaded them to try, and then report back to me. Reported seventeen of the twenty (three just disappeared from my sight). And sixteen out of seventeen - everything turned out well!

What do we have to do? Everything is very simple. The experiment lasts two weeks. Everyone is ready for the fact that the child, perhaps, will not do the lessons during this time. No, never. For the little ones, you can even agree with the teacher: the psychologist recommended an experiment to improve the difficult situation in the family, then work out, improve, do, do not worry, Marya Petrovna. But put the twos, of course.

What is at home?

How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals - image number 1

The child sits down for lessons, knowing in advance that he will NOT do them. It's clear? Well, such a contract. Get books, notebooks, a pen, pencils, a notebook for drafts ... what else do you need for preparing lessons? Expand all. But it is precisely to DO LESSONS - not at all necessary. And this is known in advance. I WILL NOT DO.

How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals - image number 2

(But if you suddenly wanted to, then you can, of course, do something a little bit. But it is completely optional and even undesirable, to be honest).

Read also:School time: does a child need a tutor

I did all the preparatory stages, sat at the table for ten seconds and went, let's say, to play with the cat. Then, when the games with the cat are finished, you can once again go to the table. See what is set. Find out if something is not recorded. Open the notebook and the tutorial on the desired page. Find the right exercise. And again DO NOT NEED anything. Well, if you immediately saw something simple that you can learn in a minute (write, decide, underline), then you will. And if I took the acceleration and did not stop, well, then something else ... But it is better to leave for the third approach. But here it is, it is generally easy. In general, it is planned to get up and go eat.But the lessons are not at all ... But this task does not work ... it does not work ... it does not work ... Well, okay, now I’ll see the solution in GDZ ... And, that’s what happened! How could I not have guessed something! .. And now that only English remained? No, I don’t NEED to do it now. Then. When later? Well, now I’ll only call Lenka ... Why is it that foolish English comes to my head while I talk to Lenka? Drive it with a filthy broom! Still! And further! Lenka, have you done this? But as? I didn’t drive something in there ... Ah, that’s how ... Yeah, I wrote it down ... But I won’t do it! NOT NECESSARY! And what if I forget that I understand? No, well, it is easier, of course, to do it now, although I was not going to ... And what is this, it turns out, I have done all the lessons already ?! And time is not very much? And no one forced me? Ah yes I am, well done what! Mom did not even believe that I had everything! And then I looked, checked and was so happy!

Well, some such hodgepodge was stated to me by boys and girls who reported on the results of the experiment (from 2nd to 10th grade). From the fourth “approach to the projectile”, almost everyone did the lessons (many used to be, especially small ones).

How it works?

Well, firstly, for many, the initiation moment itself is really difficult. Sit down (seat the child) for lessons. Then, when they sat down, everything is already easier (if not by itself) goes.Have you ever tried charging? Agree that the hardest thing to get yourself started? Few who have already stood in a pose on the mat, raised his hands, breathed and - threw everything in the middle of the exercise. If you already started, today will finish, most likely ... Here is the same. We carried out preparatory actions without any coercion (I will not do my homework, I am free for two weeks, these are the conditions of the experiment), we have successfully overcome the first step, and then - the stereotype is already involved or something completely reflexive.

Secondly, there is no resistance at all (for myself and parents). I'm not going to do my homework. On the contrary. That is, nothing threatens me. The experiment of a strange psychologist freed me for a while from a hackneyed family record. I'm even curious ...

Thirdly, paradoxical intention is included. And what kind of insanity is that? I have now laid out the textbooks, I have found the assignment, I see these examples already, I figured out how to solve them, I have to shorten it here ... And now I will not write it down, but will I watch the telly? Some kind of stupidity! Nobody obliged me to get only two for these two weeks! .. On the contrary, everyone will be surprised!

These are kids. Parents, of course, mostly just quietly melted away from the emotional relief that was sanctioned by a psychologist.

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The result: four children had a slightly worse academic performance, but not at all disastrous. At nine - remained on average at the same level (but without parental pressure).

How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals - image №4

True, almost everyone has changed the structure of academic performance: it suddenly became clear which objects the child likes, which are given easier, which are harder (this is understandable, because parents put more attention and pressure into what is going worse, and therefore the results are often in the end, the results were better. The children themselves, of course, did the opposite). In two children (middle classes), academic progress abruptly took off, from two-three to frequent fours and even fives - purely on paradoxical intention: you see, I told you that if you leave me alone, everything will t hurt! I'm right? No, here you are right here now, at the psychologist, say, am I right ?! And another child voluntarily abandoned the experiment on the third day and asked his parents to still force him to sit down for lessons, he was so accustomed and simpler, he is nervous from this experiment and cannot sleep ... Mom, having learned from me about the rest of the results, quietly cried in my office and went to seat my child on. If the child asks ...

Here is a technique. I really liked to be honest. I share with readers, I am sure that someone else will be useful.

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  • How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals

    How to make a child do homework without tears and scandals